Beds, Knobs and Room Tricks

Greetings, people. Well, turned up to Hammersmith Hospital
today with my not modest amount of luggage and equipment
and after a modicum of flapping, it transpires that “there
is no bed for me today” Apparently I was to wait
for a phone-call or call to check or something- I thought
it was all booked in but I guess such is the topsy-turvy
world of cancer treatment. No worries, I will move in
tomorrow *almost definitely*. The Hickman Line replacement
is set for 9am tomorrow (I wonder does it go in the same
vein or a different one? Will let y’all know). Not a
wasted visit, I had the-now-obligatory blood test and
the weigh-in. I am now 11.5 stone (74.9kg). Heavier than
pre-leukaemia! That proves my amazing scientific fact
of the day:

EATING ALOT OF CRAP FOOD CAUSES WEIGHT GAIN

Yes, you heard it here first, folks! We can all accept
the Nobel Prize, together. (If the stage can support
the weight)

Burn, Baby, Burn!!!

Also today I had my pre-Radiotherapy talk and signed
the consent form to allow them to play Captain Picard
with me. Here are the possible and probable side-effects
of the 6 zappings:

  • Complete hair loss (I can now float in my bath and
    pretend I am a pre-cog in minority report)
  • Destroy Cancer cells Well that would be nice while
    I’m there .
  • Nausea Yes, I know.
  • Mucositis Hence the nose-tube for feedings. Idea for
    new cookery program called “Can’t Eat, Won’t Eat” where
    celebrity chefs create gastronomic delights that can
    fit in a 5mm tub
  • Fibrosis Bit worried about that one- I hope to enjoy
    a life of hiking & cycling etc. But I guess I need
    a life to start with…
  • Increased risk of cancer Bugger.
  • Infertility Yes, I know. Hence the little visit to
    the bank before Chemo started.

This machine costs

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